This is a post I have wanted to do for a while but I was worried about it being seen as controversial. I would by no means call myself 'fat' (a nasty word anyway). I am a healthy weight, my BMI is well within the limits of what it should be. Despite this. I look at photos from this time 2 years ago and I am sad because I was tiny. I was recovering from glandular fever and I was very unhealthy and a bit underweight. However, girls used to tell me how jealous they were of my body, and men would comment on my photos to say that I looked beautiful. I still get these, but not as often. I went from being a size 8/10 to a 10/12. No big deal right? But magazines will point to celebrities who are size 12 and call them 'fat' or 'ballooning'. I often get frustrated with myself for not fitting into my old clothes or having the energy to exercise 24/7 or the willpower to eat no more than 5 calories a day.
But although my self esteem sometimes gets the best of me, I know that I am much healthier now. I have more energy, I don't get headaches or bouts of nausea. I can eat a decent sized meal when I go out for dinner. I do a better amount of exercise, and I am eating less rubbish and more healthy meals every day.
Mum tells me my weight will probably go down again soon, when I am at home and can afford healthy meals rather than just ready meals like at uni. But if not, I still feel much better than I did and that's what matters.
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